The Animal I Have Become
by Katya Jade
Summary: One shot; songfic based on the lyrics of The Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace. The Wolverine is in control and only Marie can bring Logan back.
1. Version 1

**So, this is the first songfic I've ever done. I heard this song on a run one morning and it just stuck with me. I literally wrote this in about two hours so I apologize if it's not the best thing I've ever done. It's like I had to just get it out there or else it was going to bore its way into my brain. And, trust me, I need all the room in there I can get. **

**The lyrics are from The Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace. Go to YouTube and check it out. It's so very Logan. Right, so, on with it then.**

~oOo~_  
_

_**I can't escape this hell**  
**So many times I've tried**  
**But I'm still caged inside**  
**Somebody get me through this nightmare**  
**I can't control myself**  
_

Jean and Scott stood on the back patio, searching the tree line for any sign of Logan. It was well past midnight, the darkness blanketing them like a shroud.

"This isn't good, Jean."

"I know."

Her voice was strained and Scott knew she was worried. _Very_ worried.

"I've never seen him like this. He's been gone for two days. It's like he's…he's…"

Jean's words took up where Scott left off. "He's an animal."

**_So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal, this animal_**

He ran, claws extended, blood pumping through his ears. Logan was gone now and the Wolverine was in control. Rage and anger were all he could comprehend. Voices clouded his mind and drove him forward; slashing his way through the thick brush.

"_She's down!"_

_"Rogue's been hit!"_

Images raced through his mind. Marie bleeding. Gasping for breath. Not being able to help her. Heal her.

Save her.

The roar that erupted from his throat reverberated through the inky blackness, startling the surrounding creatures from their nocturnal slumber.

_**I can't escape myself**  
**So many times I've lied**  
**But there's still rage inside**  
**Somebody get me through this nightmare**  
**I can't control myself**  
_  
As Marie walked on to the patio, Logan's anguished cry filled her ears. She stumbled slightly, clutching her stomach, reeling from the shock of pain radiating through her body.

Scott turned to see her emerge from the house and rushed to her side.

"What the hell, Rogue? You are in _no_ condition to be out of the med lab."

She grasped his arm and looked into his visor.

"Scott, he's going to be lost if I don't help him. He needs me. I need _him_."

Jean stepped forward and put her arm on top of Scott's. She smiled at her husband and then turned her attention to Rogue.

"I've known for some time that you and Logan had feelings for each other. You're his lifeline. He's lost to the Wolverine now; consumed by his fury at not being able to help you."

"It wasn't his fault, Jean. I took the cure. I was the one to choose to walk into the middle of a mutant riot in Salem Center. Wrong place. Wrong fucking time."

"You're the only one who can help him, Rogue."

Marie was both elated and terrified at the idea. For the last five years, she'd avoided dealing with her feelings for Logan. The cure made her normal and she tried so hard to live the life she thought she _should_ have. Marie had gone to college and lived on her own, trying in vain to move past what she believed to be an unrequited crush. But she'd found out the hard way, there was no life without Logan.

And to her great surprise, apparently Logan felt the same way.

"Call to him Jean."

_**So what if you can see the darkest side of me**  
**No one will ever change this animal I have become**  
**Help me believe it's not the real me**  
**Somebody help me tame this animal I have become**  
_

The Wolverine felt a tingle in his mind before he heard the redhead's voice as clearly as if she were standing in front of him.

"Marie needs you. Come back to the house, Logan."

He stopped. Wolverine could feel Logan's desperate fight to regain control. Wolverine didn't like it one fucking bit. He enjoyed being free. Being in charge. Being an animal.

Wolverine growled, knowing that Logan wanted to come back. But Wolverine wasn't ready. He wanted to see the woman. Marie. The one who smelled musky and sweet. He began to make his way back to the house.

_**Help me believe it's not the real me**  
**Somebody help me tame this animal**  
_

Marie gasped as Logan appeared before them, stealthily jumping the brick wall before landing on the patio. She watched as Logan paced back and forth, sniffing the air and craning his neck in Scott's direction, then Jean's…the finally, hers. Logan stopped and approached her, growling at Scott who reluctantly removed his arm from Marie's.

"Rogue…"

Marie held up her hand. "Scott, it's alright."

Logan stood no more than a foot away from her and she shivered as he brought his head closer to her and inhaled.

"Logan, can you hear me?"

Logan's head reared back and his eyes narrowed.

"I know you're there, Logan. You need to come back, okay? I'm alright. I'll be fine."

Logan's chest rumbled again as he put his hand over her stomach, directly over her wound.

"Yes, it still hurts like a bitch. I'll be okay, but I…I need you Logan."

His head came up and Logan met her eyes. His gaze was feral and dark. She'd seen Logan like this only a handful of times and only after extreme circumstances. He would allow the Wolverine to take over as a way to tap into his rage and grief. But she'd never seen him go this long without coming back. She prayed that her stupidity hadn't lost him forever.

Marie brought her hand to his face and stroked her thumb over his stubble covered cheek.

"Come back, Logan."

**_Somebody help me through this nightmare_**  
**_I can't control myself_**  
**_Somebody wake me from this nightmare_**  
**_I can't escape this hell_**

**_This animal, this animal_**  
**_This animal, this animal_**  
**_This animal, this animal_**  
**_This animal_**

Wolverine felt the warmth of her hand and he felt his anger receding. This woman was his. Theirs. Logan had wanted to claim her for so long but he'd waited. Stupid Logan. She belonged to them. He took her hand and brought it to his mouth.

She gasped.

Wolverine growled low in his chest and stepped forward, bringing his face flush with hers. His mouth met her neck and he inhaled her scent deep into his lungs. He could feel Logan protesting. Wanting to force Wolverine to back off. Logan was scared. Wolverine wasn't.

He brought his mouth to Marie's and claimed her for himself.

_**So what if you can see the darkest side of me**  
**No one will ever change this animal I have become**  
**Help me believe it's not the real me**  
**Somebody help me tame this animal I have become**  
_  
Marie sank into the kiss. She didn't care if Jean, Scott or the entire damn household was watching. She knew that it was Wolverine kissing her but that didn't lessen the intensity. Marie had imagined this for so long that the reality was dizzying. Like one of those women in a romance novel, Marie felt her knees grow weak. Maybe it was from the kiss; maybe it was from her injury – either way she felt herself begin to slump toward the floor before Logan…no, the Wolverine's strong arms encircled her waist.

She reluctantly broke away from Logan and put her head on his chest. Had he always been this strong? Good God, the man was a brick wall. She felt his arm underneath her leg and, in an instant, she was being held in his arms, her cheek still resting against the crook of his neck.

The last thing she heard before succumbing to unconsciousness was Logan's deep voice calling her name with a gentleness she'd only ever imagined.

"Marie. I'm here, baby."

**_Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal  
This animal I have become_**

Marie's eyelids opened slowly, adjusting to the bright lights of the med lab. She turned her head and was greeted by Logan's face only inches from hers. He smiled and she recognized immediately that it was Logan and not Wolverine who sat before her.

"Hi."

Her voice sounded raspy.

"Hey."

His voice sounded like heaven.

"So…you're…you."

"Yeah, darlin'. Thanks to you."

"You would have made it back on your own, Logan."

His eyes cast downward, fear clouding his strong face.

"I didn't want to. Not if you weren't going to be here with me."

She grasped his hand, finally putting aside her inhibitions and worry about what a declaration of her feelings might mean.

"I'm not going anywhere, sugar."

Logan took her hand in his and brought it to his lips, savoring the feel of her soft skin.

"Marie...what you saw last night. That's the real me. You deserve someone who isn't an animal."

"You're _not_ an animal Logan. Wolverine is a part of you but he's not what defines you."

Logan chuckled. "My code name is Wolverine, darlin'."

She wanted to laugh but it hurt too much.

"Smart ass."

Logan's voice grew serious again.

"I've done so much bad shit, Marie. I'm not good enough..."

"Stop it. You're not the only one with a shady past Logan. So what if you get a little feral from time to time. That doesn't make you less of a man. Or unworthy of being loved."

"Bein' loved. You volunteerin'?"

"Maybe."

"Now who's bein' a smart ass."

She smiled. "Takes one to know one."

Logan moved his hand and caressed the side of her face.

"We make a good team, Marie. I'm sorry it took me so long to finally sack up and admit it."

"Well, let's make this our fresh start."

"Sounds like a plan."

They sat together in silence for a moment.

"I have to admit...Wolverine is a pretty damn good kisser." Marie's eyes sparkled.

Logan's lips slid upward in a knowing smirk. "He ain't got nothin' on me, darlin'."

"Yeah? Prove it."

Logan shifted forward. He stared into her eyes as his lips met hers. He reveled in the taste of her. His eyes closed as he brought his hands to rest on either side of her face. Marie was his.

Deep inside the recesses of Logan's mind, Wolverine growled his approval.

~oOo~

**That lovely button down there? Yeah, that one. You know what to do.**


	2. Version 2

Okay, I had a second version of the story I wrote but, for some reason, I thought the other one was better. Well, this is just sitting on my computer so I figured I'd upload it as well. My take on his version was that it wasn't just Logan that had the Wolverine - Marie has him as well - and that Logan isn't alone in having to fight that 'demon.'

~oOo~

_**I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
**_

Sick satisfaction covered the doctor's face as he studied the video monitor. The man he observed…if one could still call him a man…paced back and forth in his cell, howling and clawing at the reinforced walls. After twenty five days of interrogation and torture, he'd finally been pushed past the breaking point. It had taken much more effort that the doctor had originally planned; the animal had been buried far deeper in his psyche than they'd realized.

Logan didn't exist anymore. There was only Wolverine.

_**So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal, this animal**_

The Blackbird landed on the outskirts of the facility and Rogue was first down the exit ramp, the team following close behind. Logan had disappeared during a routine sweep of a reported mutant camp just under a month ago. She'd been on another assignment at the time and only found out about his mission after she'd returned. Marie had railed Scott for sending a team member out alone – especially Logan. Sure he could take care of himself but as a mutant experiment, there were few specimens as valuable as him. His healing factor alone meant that they could torture him over and over and he would still recover.

She shuddered at the image of his nightmares; being grafted with adamantium, bullets riddling his body; the pain of his metal skeleton being manipulated by Magneto. Her imagination ran wild at what they could be subjecting him to this time and those possibilities enraged her.

Marie and the team found their way into the facility. Scott had just begun his 'X-Men don't kill' speech when Marie silenced him with her hand.

"If it were Jean sitting in here, being fucked up by these assholes, would _you_ be holding back?"

He had no response.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

She tapped into that Logan place in her mind. The part of him that was pure animal and instinct. She didn't go there often. The prospect of becoming lost to the overwhelming emotion was terrifying. She wasn't sure if she would be able to come back like Logan. But if there was ever a time that called for summoning that inner Wolverine, it was now. She wasn't going to lose him.

A growl rumbled from her chest and her senses came alive. She sniffed the air, turned to her right and bolted down the hallway.

"So…I guess we go that way." Scott murmured.

_**I can't escape myself  
So many times I've lied  
But there's still rage inside  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
**_  
Wolverine sat on his haunches in the center of the room. He was no longer able to process logical thought. His world encompassed the cell in which he was imprisoned. Wolverine focused on a means of escape but grew increasingly agitated every time he failed to break free. Each time the men came to take him, he was given something to make him sleep. When he awoke, he was chained in the large grey room. But one moment was all he needed. One chance and he would make all of them scream in agony.

_**So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become**_

Scott watched as Rogue lead the way, dispatching guard after guard with a variety of powers that she'd accumulated through the years. He'd always known she was a good fighter; brave, physically strong, willing to take a bullet for any of her teammates. Rogue was no longer the timid teenager that came to the mansion ten years ago. This Rogue was the embodiment of her name; vicious, solitary, operating outside of any control whatsoever.

The realization hit Scott harder than a ton of bricks; she was acting exactly like Logan.

_**Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal  
Somebody help me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself  
Somebody wake me from this nightmare  
I can't escape this hell  
**__  
_Wolverine heard a commotion and he turned toward the door, his claws erupting from his hands. Footsteps were drawing closer now. There were at least five. More screaming and loud noises echoed outside his door. He stepped backward, placing his body flush with the wall; ready to spring forward and impale the first person who walked through the door.

After a moment of silence, he heard the telltale lock on the door slide free. The heavy door creaked open and Wolverine roared forward, his claws extended outward toward the intruder. The sound of the metal's impact into flesh was music to his ears and the odor of fresh blood made his vision cloud with ecstasy.

Wolverine heard a man's voice yell out one word that made the Logan inside of him howl with rage.

"Rogue!"

Instead of a man in a lab coat, a woman stood before him. Her scent was unmistakable.

Rogue. Marie. _Mate_.

_**So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
No one will ever change this animal I have become  
Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become  
**_

Rogue roared in anger. The attack surprised her and she fought back, pinning him to the wall with the power she'd obtained from Magneto. As quickly as she'd been able to bring forth the Wolverine inside her mind, she was able to shove it back to its rightful place even as she fell to her knees in agony.

"God_dammit_! "

Scott was next to her in an instant, attempting to apply pressure on her wounds as Rogue slipped into unconsciousness.

"Rogue…Rogue!"

He sensed Wolverine's approach and he turned instantly, his hand on the side of his visor.

"Back off!"

Logan lifted his hands, his face a mask of regret, pain and exhaustion.

"It's me, One-Eye."

"What the hell were you thinking attacking her?"

"I didn't…it..it was Wolverine."

Logan knelt down next to Marie's still form, tears running down his face as the smell of her blood flooded his nose. Blood he had spilt.

"What have I done?"

_**Help me believe it's not the real me  
Somebody help me tame this animal!  
This animal I have become**_

Marie's eyelids opened slowly, adjusting to the bright lights of the med lab. She turned her head and was greeted by Logan's face only inches from hers. He smiled weakly and she recognized immediately that it was Logan and not Wolverine who sat before her.

"Hi."

Her voice sounded raspy.

"Hey."

His voice sounded like heaven.

"So…you're…you."

"Yeah, darlin'."

His eyes cast downward, regret clouding his strong face.

"I'm sorry, Marie. So fuckin' sorry."

She put her gloved hand on his cheek. He hadn't bothered to shave the beard that had grown during his time in the lab.

"_You_ were the one tortured for a month. I can handle a little skewering. I do have your wonderful healing factor, remember?"

"It ain't funny."

"I'm not laughing."

Logan sat back in his chair, his hands running through his dark hair.

"I didn't even _see_ you, Marie. _He_ was in control. I saw everything he did and I didn't give a shit. I _wanted_ him to fillet every one of those assholes. When that door opened, all he wanted…all _I_ wanted was payback. And then I saw…too late…it was _you_…."

His voice became raw and she could tell he was fighting to not break down.

"It wasn't your fault, Logan."

"Yes it was. I want to blame everything on Wolverine but he's me. _I'm_ that animal. _I'm_ the one that could have killed you."

"But you didn't, Logan. I'm right here."

He looked into her eyes and the vulnerability evident there tore at Marie's heart.

"Why do you bother, Marie?"

"Well, why do you?"

"What?"

"I can't _touch_ you, Logan. You're all passion and emotion but you can't be intimate with me unless there's a barrier between us. So why me when there's at least a half dozen women in this mansion would love to share your bed."

"Because you make me the man I should be, Marie."

"And you give me the strength I never thought I could possess. Remember, I've got Wolverine inside my head too. Face it, baby, we're a good team. And that includes _him_."

She poked her finger at his chest.

Logan smiled the lopsided smirk that made her knees go weak. He leaned forward and brought his lips to hers for an agonizingly fleeting moment. Logan broke the connection before the draw of her mutation began but his face hovered so tantilizingly close to hers.

"You all healed?" Logan's voice rumbled in her ear.

She shuddered at his warm breath on her cheek.

"Hell yeah."

"Me too."

"Screw the debriefing, get your ass to our room so I can show you how much I missed you, sugar."

"Yes, ma'am."

Marie jumped up from the bed and Logan wrapped her in his arms.

The Wolverine growled his approval.

~oOo~

**There's version 2 for ya!**


End file.
